Bond… or free?

March 21, 2008 at 6:55 am (My life, Walk with God) (, )

  [Taken from Galatians 4, KJV] …thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ. Howbeit then, when ye knew not God, ye did service unto them which by nature are no gods. But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?

Pay special attention to that last part. That’s me. I know – or am known by – God… yet I have caught myself desiring to be in bondage. Yes, I know that the things that I allow myself to be in bondage to are weak and beggarly, yet I still fall into the trap. No, I don’t. I’ll be honest. I LOOK at that trap and say, “Wow! That’s great!” and jump right into it. Stupid? Yes. True? Unfortunately.
   When I realize what I’ve done, I feel stupid and— what’s the right word? I guess I just realize how undeserving I am of God’s goodness. You see, I don’t jump into too many traps. Almost none. Except for this one thing that I just can’t seem to conquer: My imagination. Every time I think that I’ve conquered it, I see something admirable in making my escape from reality by imagining something about myself that doesn’t exist. And I jump in again.

   This week, I discovered my problem. I was praying and getting God’s help when I would quit again, but I have never involved Him afterwards. Once I’ve gone a few days without imagining things, I say, “Okay, I’ve got this thing under control.” — and I stop asking God for His assistance! How dumb is that? But it’s true.

   For me, my imagination is an addiction. It’s an escape. I’m being transparent, people. I need your prayers. I think that I can do it this time: I know that God will help me – and CONTINUE to help me as I ask Him to. I’m free in Christ! I don’t need to serve my old masters! I— AM— FREE!

Advertisements

3 Comments

  1. Lydia said,

    Thanks for asking me to read your post. I know very well what you mean. Though it may be slightly different for me I often find myself just dreaming random meaningless things that don’t get me anywhere. And my mind often wanders when I try to pray. Yeah I think we all go through things like that. I will keep you in my prayers!!! I love you girl! Love, Lyds

  2. Josiah R. said,

    Do you still need help with HTML?

  3. Erica said,

    Very well put – I struggle with that, too. I agree with Lydia that most Christians do struggle with their thought lives – it’s very difficult to keep your focus from slipping from God to other pointless junk.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: